Different people observe different things.  I drive the same route, almost daily, and yet oftentimes do not notice businesses or other notable sights along my route.  I see my route, but I don’t really observe it.  But, I do observe people and there are certain things about people I tend to observe, often.  As a lifetime runner, I notice shoes. I do not notice just any shoes, but I do notice if someone is wearing running shoes. If so, I will often say, “those are nice shoes; are you a runner?”  If they are, it is an immediate connection. We share a common experience.  Also, I have always observed writings/slogans or other things written on people’s t-shirts.  If they picked it out, often it will tell you something about them.   BUT, if you go to a country where English is not the native tongue and where some might want to wear English wording on their t-shirt because it is “fashionable,” don’t put too much value on the t-shirt revealing something about the person.  I found this out when I met a young man who had the word “Baby” blazoned across his chest with an arrow pointing down to his midsection :). In this man’s case, the words only showed that he probably did not know English:)

People are fascinating and I do love interacting and learning from them. I love to look for cues because every person is worth knowing and every person has a story.  I do appreciate Raines’ and Ewing’s thoughts on cues we may observe to help us get to know others better.  Here are some, taken from their book, The Art of Connecting:

• Hairstyle
• Clothing, jewelry, style
• Accessories (attaché, pens, electronics)
• Grooming (impeccable, relaxed, disheveled)
• Preferred meeting place (mine, yours, neutral)
• Body type (lean/ample, athletic, inactive)
• Physical movement (how much, what kind, what pace)
• Energy level (active, hyperactive, lethargic)
• Personal Presence (centered, distracted, scattered)
• Posture (leaning toward or away from you)
• Physical closeness or distance
• Physical touch or lack thereof
• Eye contact (direct, indirect, duration, intensity)

Observing well is an important part of connecting with others. We learn and it often honors the person that you take the time and care to notice things about them.  We will never be as perceptive as Sherlock Holmes, but we can all improve.